Bulletin, March 24, 2024

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The Impact of Unforgiveness on Your Brain & Body

We have all been deeply hurt by others. This is an unfortunate but unsurprising part of the human experience. The painful and emotional wounds can come either intentionally or unintentionally by family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, church members, or even strangers to name just a few possibilities. And the deeper the hurt, the harder it is to mentally process and longer it takes for us to forgive. If we are not careful and intentional, unforgiveness can deteriorate into a grudge and even the potential of revenge. When we allow resentment to build, we remain prisoners of pain.
 
When we are wronged or hurt, it is natural and normal to feel pain. God created our brains to help us survive when we feel threatened. Psychologists call this the fight-flight-freeze response. This response is generated in our emotional centers, primarily mediated by two almond shaped clusters of brain cells called the amygdalae. When the amygdalae are activated, a series of          bio-chemical processes begin. The adrenal glands that lie on top of our kidneys release the stress hormone cortisol into our bodies and the brain releases chemicals into the brain. Those in turn activate a part of our nervous system called the sympathetic nervous system. When this system is activated, among other things, our attention gets highly focused on survival, our digestive system stops, our pupils dilate, our saliva glands slow our blood pressure and heart rate increases, and our muscles are ready for action. These are all responses that take place whether we want them too or not.
 
Here are some impacts unforgiveness has on the brain:
 

1- Rumination

When we nurse and rehearse the hurt, this reinforces the negative experience and burns the event deeper into our mental neuropathways. Our brains are designed to only be able to effectively think one thought at a time… therefore when we are fixated on the hurt, we are not able to focus on the other good and important things that are nice, needed, and necessary.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

 

2- Diminished Memory

When we remain stressed for long periods of time or we refuse to forgive, cortisol causes our brain to atrophy, especially our memory center called the hippocampus. We must be selective to be effective in our mental focus.

Isaiah 46:9 Remember the former things of old, For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me,

 

3- Amplified Negative Emotions

Prolonged stress also amplifies our amygdalae’s sensitivity making us even more susceptible to further hurt and pain. We often don’t see life as it is but as we are. When we are looking for things to upset us, disappoint us, and bother us…. We will find it.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 For the weapons of our warfare are not [a]carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

 

4- Misguided Desire

Unforgiveness can cause us to begin to sense joy, happiness, and pleasure when we see those who have hurt us experience misfortune themselves. It causes our brain to produce the chemical dopamine. It begins to feel good to see bad things happen to those we have not forgiven for their wrongs. This is the way the world functions, but God has called us to a much higher standard.

Matthew 5:43-48 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the [c]tax collectors do so? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

 

Here are some ways to overcome unforgiveness:

 

1- Admit the Pain

When we name a painful emotion, we decrease that negative emotion’s intensity. We are only as sick as our secrets. We must remember that denial (dee-Nile) is more than just a river in Egypt. Talk to a safe friend, pastor, counselor etc. When we want forgiveness, we must confess to God but when we want freedom we must confess to another person, who cares for us.

2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you ]are disqualified.

James 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, [b]fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

 

2- Journal

Processing our pain through writing it down lessens the pain and helps us gain better perspective. Our chaotic thoughts detangle over our lips (talking) and fingertips (writing). Through journaling, seek to gain God’s perspective and healing.

Jeremiah 30:2 “Thus speaks the Lord God of Israel, saying: ‘Write in a book for yourself all the words that I have spoken to you.

 

3- Choose to Forgive

Forgiveness is a decision and a process. Some offenses can be quickly and easily forgiven while the deeper the pain, the longer it takes. It is not so much forgiving and forgetting. Rather, true forgiveness is more like remembering it less and less over time. When the painful memory is no longer in control of you, but you are in control of it, you are practicing Biblical forgiveness.

Colossians 3:12-13 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

 

4- Depend on God’s Grace

At the root of the Christian faith is grace. Receiving and extending God’s grace is foundational to Christianity. Grace is God’s Riches aChrist’s Expense. Because we have experienced the underserved grace of God in our lives, we are able to extend undeserved grace to others.

Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

 
 

If this blog post has grabbed your curiosity and you would like to know more, please pursue any/all of the below options:

1-              Contact me at pastor@missionchurchlex.org

2-              Check out our church website Misisonchurchlex.org

3-              Visit us for Community Celebration and Worship every Sunday at 9am and 11am (Facebook livestreaming available at 9am) and Mission Groups                   each Wednesday at 630pm. We are located at 3288 Beaver Creek Drive Lexington KY 40515.

4-              Follow us on Facebook www.facebook.com/missionchurch.lex

5-              Continue to read this weekly blog- “Find your Why with Pastor D”


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Lesson #6 The Deacon & His Witness

Hello TMC Family and Friends!
 
During the month of July 2023, we received deacon nominations from the congregation. After the Board of Elders prayerfully and carefully evaluated the nominations, we are happy to report that we have two strong deacon candidates and one yokefellow candidate (deacon in preparation) that we believe God has provided to serve The Mission Church of Lexington! These three men are now being trained to serve in this important Biblical office. If once the deacon training is finished and the deacon candidates as well as the Board of Elders believe the Lord is still leading in this matter, these three men will be presented to the church during the “Information and Celebration Gathering” on December 3rd for church affirmation. The newly established Board of Deacons will begin their tenure in January 2024. Over the next 6 weeks I will be sharing with you through this blog the sessions that I am using to train and equip our deacons so they can be the deacons they want to be and so they can be the deacons that TMC needs them to be! I believe the information in these sessions have spiritual and practical benefit to every Christian and every covenant church member.
 
 
Scenario Conversation Starter:
 
Roland and his family attend a church in the metro area where he serves as a deacon. He is serious about being a deacon and is continuing to grow in his relationship with Christ. For the last few weeks, God has been dealing with Roland in his personal quiet time concerning being a bolder witness, but because he is somewhat introverted, he finds it difficult to engage in a conversation about deep spiritual matters with another person, especially if the situation is the least bit confrontational. The church Roland serves has an organized outreach program and is involved in missions overseas, but Roland has not yet felt comfortable being involved in either one. Sometimes he feels convicted to the point of stepping up and getting involved, and sometimes he feels condemned to the point of stepping down from the deacon ministry. Roland desperately wants help but is afraid to admit his fears to anyone- except to his wife, who has an outgoing personality and is a bold witness. She encourages him to share his concerns with the pastor, for whom both she and Roland have great respect.
If you were Roland’s pastor, and he came to you for counsel in this matter, what would you tell him?
If you were Roland what would be your next steps of obedience?
 
During this session we will focus on the deacon’s witness. Note the qualification the Apostle Paul writes:
 
1 Timothy 3:8-9 Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, 9 holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience.
 
God calls deacons to serve, and a critical part of that service is being a faithful witness for Jesus Christ. A deacon who witnesses shares what Christ has done in his own life, and how Christ can make a difference in every person’s life.
 
Just as Stephen is a Biblical model of a deacon and his faithful walk, Philip is a Biblical model of a deacon and his faithful witness. Philip was one of the “seven men” chosen in Acts 6. He served the church well as a deacon, but he also became widely known as a soulwinner- an evangelist. Every time the Bible mentions Philip, he is preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
 
Acts 21:8 On the next day we who were Paul’s companions departed and came to Caesarea, and entered the house of Philip the evangelist, who was one of the seven, and stayed with him.
 
Bible shows that Philip was willing to go to people who were different.
 
Acts 8:5 Then Philip went down to the city of Samaria and preached Christ to them.
 
Pride can cause a person to view those who are different as inferior and, therefore, unworthy of inclusion in the church. God loves people of all colors, races, cultures, and socio-economic status in the same way. God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34). Deacons must be faithful to witness to everyone, regardless of who they are or what they have.
 
Furthermore, the Bible shows Philip going to people who were distant.
 
Acts 8:26-40 Now an angel of the Lord spoke to Philip, saying, “Arise and go toward the south along the road which goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” This is [a]desert. 27 So he arose and went. And behold, a man of Ethiopia, a eunuch of great authority under Candace the queen of the Ethiopians, who had charge of all her treasury, and had come to Jerusalem to worship, 28 was returning. And sitting in his chariot, he was reading Isaiah the prophet. 29 Then the Spirit said to Philip, “Go near and overtake this chariot.” 30 So Philip ran to him, and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah, and said, “Do you understand what you are reading?” 31 And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he asked Philip to come up and sit with him. 32 The place in the Scripture which he read was this: “He was led as a sheep to the slaughter; And as a lamb before its shearer is silent, So He opened not His mouth. 33 In His humiliation His justice was taken away, And who will declare His generation? For His life is taken from the earth.” 34 So the eunuch answered Philip and said, “I ask you, of whom does the prophet say this, of himself or of some other man?” 35 Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning at this Scripture, preached Jesus to him. 36 Now as they went down the road, they came to some water. And the eunuch said, “See, here is water. What hinders me from being baptized?” 37 [b]Then Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.” 38 So he commanded the chariot to stand still. And both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and he baptized him. 39 Now when they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught Philip away, so that the eunuch saw him no more; and he went on his way rejoicing. 40 But Philip was found at [c]Azotus. And passing through, he preached in all the cities till he came to Caesarea.
 
God took Philip out of Samaria where revival had broken out everywhere and sent him a great distance to save one man. This eunuch was the first recorded convert from the continent of Africa, and God used a deacon to reach him. This speaks volumes to deacons today. A deacon who is faithful in his witness should never underestimate how God might choose to use him to reach masses of people- or even a single man- with the Gospel.
 
In a culture that viewed women much differently from the way they are viewed today, Philip did not let gender change the simple message of the Gospel. He shared with everyone indiscriminately.
 
Acts 8:12 But when they believed Philip as he preached the things concerning the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, both men and women were baptized.
 
Deacons should see themselves as missionaries and those they meet as a mission field. God strategically places his servants so that they can influence those around them with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Today’s church experiences much greatness- great church members, great ministries, great teachers, great preachers, great music, just to name a few. We are lacking greatness, however, in the most important area of all- evangelism!
 
Why do deacons sometimes become unfaithful in their witness? Consider a few possible reasons: Apathy, lack of example, feel untrained and inadequate, fear, too busy, ignorance of Scripture and how to share it effectively.
 
Philip was a deacon who considered the Great Commission a great privilege. He was faithful to share the Gospel while traveling to his destination as much as when he arrived at this destination. While it is true that deacons- and all Christians, for that matter- can be effective witnesses through their walk, nothing takes the place of sharing Christ with words. We use words to teach, instruct, disciple, and encourage. Philip maintained a balance. He did not just discuss evangelisms with believers, he did evangelism with unbelievers. He walked that walk and talked the talk. His spiritual audio and visual match up.
 
Matthew 28:18-20 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.
 
Romans 10:14 How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher?
 
Lessons from Philip the Soulwinner
 
1- Philip was a pioneer in sharing the Gospel
 
Philip was the first to take the Gospel to non-Jewish territories. Philip was an “Acts 1:8 Christian” who took the Great Commission seriously. He is a role model encouraging other to go where God tells them to go, even if no one has gone before. Faithful men share the Gospel regardless of where the Lord directs them to go.
 
Acts 1:8 But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”
 
2- Philip shared the Gospel in difficult places
 
Not every place a deacon is called to minister is an easy or comfortable place to be. Like Jesus, however, Philip preached in contemptible places. Recall when Jesus traveled to Samaria and witnessed to the “woman at the well” (John 4). She was an adulterer, an outcast, and a very confused woman. Yet upon talking to Jesus, she was saved and led a city-wide revival. A deacon must be willing to share Christ with anyone at any time.
 
Philip was a church leader and one of the chosen “seven”. If Philiip had been a prideful man, he could have considered himself too elite to go to the lowly Samaritans. But he didn’t have a problem with pride. Philip never got too big to make sure the Gospel reached even the lowliest of people. Deacons should do no less. When we love Jesus we will love what and who Jesus loves and Jesus loves the least, that last, the lost, and the left out.
 
In order to reach all people, a deacon must have a vision big enough to encompass all people. Philip had a great vision for everybody to hear the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He did not confine the Gospel to the Jews only. In his mind, the Gospel had no boundaries.
 
Mark 16:15 And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.
 
The church needs deacons today with a heart for the world who will release the Gospel and not restrict it to certain people. The church should not keep sinners out, but bring sinners in. Deacons, therefore, should not be alarmed if the greatest of sinners come into the church. Instead, they should welcome them and be passionate about sharing the Gospel with them.
 
James 2:8-9 If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well; 9 but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors.
 
3- Philip did not hesitate to obey the Lord
 
It is important to notice in the Biblical text that while Philip was traveling southwest, the man he was destined to meet was traveling northeast. If Philip had delayed for any reason, the two might never have met. In running to meet the Ethiopian eunuch, Philiip demonstrated simple obedience to the Lord and to the Great Commission. There is much to be said for simple obedience! When Philip obeyed the simple call to go, he heard the sinner’s cry and took advantage of the opportunity to share the Gospel.
 
Acts 8:26-30 Now an angel of the Lord spoke to Philip, saying, “Arise and go toward the south along the road which goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” This is [a]desert. 27 So he arose and went. And behold, a man of Ethiopia, a eunuch of great authority under Candace the queen of the Ethiopians, who had charge of all her treasury, and had come to Jerusalem to worship, 28 was returning. And sitting in his chariot, he was reading Isaiah the prophet. 29 Then the Spirit said to Philip, “Go near and overtake this chariot.” 30 So Philip ran to him, and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah, and said, “Do you understand what you are reading?”
 
4- Philip used the Scripture to witness for Jesus Christ
 
The eunuch had the Scripture right in front of him but could not understand them until Philip explained them to him. How inspiring it is that God can use a deacon to share the truth with a sinner who would likely never discover it on his own!
In closing, Philip witnessed in his neighborhood, in his work, and as he traveled. If you as a deacon will be willing to follow this example and become faithful in your witness where you live, where you work, and where you walk, you can be a catalyst for revolutionizing the church you serve!
 
 
Discussion Questions:
 
1- Just how important is evangelism in the life of a Christian? Is it more important for a deacon to share the Gospel than it is for any other Christian?
 
2- Discuss some of the barriers you face in boldly sharing the Gospel?
 
3- What are some practical next steps that you should take to be more intentional and effective in your evangelistic efforts?
 
 
If this blog post has grabbed your curiosity and you would like to know more please pursue any/all of the below options:
 
  1. Contact me at pastor@missionchurchlex.org
  2. Check out our church website www.misisonchurchlex.org
  3. Visit us for Community Celebration and Worship every Sunday at 9am and 11am (Facebook livestreaming available at 9am) and        Mission Groups each Wednesday at 630pm. We are located at 3288 Beaver Creek Drive Lexington KY 40515.
  4. Follow us on Facebook www.facebook.com/missionchurch.lex
  5. Continue to read this weekly blog- “Find your Why with Pastor D”

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Whoa! I lost My Pastor!

Today was an unusual day in that I woke up earlier than normal. I was like, okay, I will have more time to set up for music class at school. I got ready as usual and when I was leaving the bedroom, I was saying goodbye to Donovan, and I got no response. That was unusual. Then I thought, maybe he woke up earlier and is down in his office studying (which has happened on occasion). When I went to go downstairs it was pitch dark. I turned on the lights, looked for light at the bottom of his office door and it was not on. Now I have lost my Pastor! I get in my car and pull out of the garage and there was no sign of Donovan’s truck. Now I finally call him, and he doesn’t answer but he texts me back and says that he is in a prayer meeting. I’m thinking, wow, this is an early prayer meeting. It made me think of Daniel. He prayed three times a day and I am sure that one of them was early in the morning.
 
Daniel 6:10 Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went home. And in his upper room, with his windows open toward Jerusalem, he knelt down on his knees three times that day, and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as was his custom since early days. 
 
I can’t even imagine getting up any earlier than I do, but this morning I felt more at peace than I normally do. I wasn’t rushed, I wasn’t stressed, and I definitely wasn’t going to be late. What if I woke up earlier every morning to be able to spend some time with God in prayer. Sure, I talk to God in my car and worship Him on the way to school, but this early thing seems just so different. It is like God is saying, “Be still & listen to Me.” He says this in his Word, too.
 
Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!
 
The still of the early morning is like no other. It is the calm before the storm of the day. If you think about it, this is a perfect time to talk with God because so many people are asleep and maybe, just maybe it is easier to focus and let God hear our hearts, Less noise in the mind, less noise because the day hasn’t officially started, less noise because you are being still and knowing God.
 
I think back to a few weeks ago when we were in the Smoky Mountains. I asked Donovan to pull over and park where one of the paths to the stream was. I got down by the stream, on the rocks and was literally in the middle. It was amazing! The water running down over the rocks and the peacefulness of God’s wonderful creation. I was tearing up and realized how much I needed that! See, when we slow down, we start seeing more of God and the peace He gives us in our lives. We start seeing the why, the what, the how of everything. We can clear our minds of the muck that is in there and start afresh. God doesn’t want us walking around like zombies, He wants the River of Life flowing out of us with JOY that only He can give, but we must stop and listen.
 
I am definitely glad I found out where my Pastor was! It is an example he is setting for us all. He amazes me everyday how God continues to work in His life and use him for His glory. 
 
I will go on and do my service for the Lord and hopefully I will amaze my Pastor, too but most importantly, I want to amaze God by spending special time with him, by being sold out for Him in everything I do,
 
No, I didn’t really “lose” my pastor, by my pastor did lose himself in God. May we all be encouraged and do the same. 
 
James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

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Lesson #5 The Deacon & His Walk

Hello TMC Family and Friends,

During the month of July 2023 we received deacon nominations from the congregation. After the Board of Elders prayerfully and carefully evaluated the nominations, we are happy to report that we have two strong deacon candidates and one yokefellow candidate (deacon in preparation) that we believe God has provided to serve The Mission Church of Lexington! These three men are now being trained to serve in this important Biblical office. If once the deacon training is finished and the deacon candidates as well as the Board of Elders believe the Lord is still leading in this matter, these three men will be presented to the church during the “Information and Celebration Gathering” on December 3rd for church affirmation. The newly established Board of Deacons will begin their tenure in January 2024. Over the next 6 weeks I will be sharing with you through this blog the sessions that I am using to train and equip our deacons so they can be the deacons they want to be and so they can be the deacons that TMC needs them to be! I believe the information in these sessions have spiritual and practical benefit to every Christian and every covenant church member.

 

 Scenario Conversation Starter:

Greg is a deacon at Suburban Community Church, a church that relocated from the inner city five years ago. He is also a commercial contractor who enjoys a good reputation among Christians and non-Christians alike. He’s a natural go-to kind of guy who gets things done. Recently Greg was asked by the city council to serve as chairman of a volunteer committee to oversee the construction of a new city park, complete with athletic fields and playgrounds. It’s at least a 12-to-15-month project.

About a week after Greg committed to the park project, the deacon officers at Suburban Community Church decided to ask him to head up a ministry team to assist adult members with things they can no longer do around their homes, like painting, small repairs, taking them on errands and the like. Because of his reputation for excellence and dependability- and because no one else is willing to accept the job- Greg seems to be the man to call on to coordinate this new ministry, even though the deacon officers know of his heavy commitment to the park project- not to mention the responsibility of running his own construction company.
 

If you were Greg, how would you handle this situation?

If you were one of the deacon officers, how would you feel about asking him to head up the new ministry? What other options might be available for consideration?

 

In a day when the media is bombarding us on every front through gadgets we can hold in our hands, carry in our pockets, or attach to our ears, it is easy to lose sight of the life-changing effects of kingdom work and living. As a word of caution: regardless of what is going on in our world today- politics, wars, rising costs on every front- we must never underestimate the value of kingdom work. It is the most important business that has ever taken place or ever will take place on this earth. Therefore, a deacon’s personal walk with Christ should demonstrate his application of kingdom principles in the midst of whatever may be coming our way- good or bad.

 

When we think about a deacon’s walk, we are referring to two critical areas of his life: his conduct and his conversation. The Bible provides a clear picture in Acts 6 of a godly deacon’s walk in one of the seven men selected to serve the early church- Stephen. Stephen was serious about God’s business, and deacons today should be just as serious as he was.

Stephen certainly met all the qualifications for a deacon. The Scriptures singled him out from the other six men.

 

Acts 6:3-5 Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business; but we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” And the saying pleased the whole multitude. And they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit, and Philip, Prochorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas, a proselyte from Antioch.

 

Stephen is best remembered as the first New Testament martyr, based on Acts 7:54-60, where the details of his death are recorded, including how he responded to those who killed him.

 

Acts 7:59-60 And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

 

It takes a godly walk to respond like Stephen did. A deacon who desires to live as God wants him to live should follow this Biblical model. Stephen led an exemplary life which personified much of the New Testament Scripture. Stephens focus on the Lord Jesus indicated in the passage above is clarified well by the Apostle Paul.

 

Colossians 3:1-4 If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

 

Three characteristics of Stephen’s life teach deacons how to walk in a way that fulfills the ministry for which they have been singled out.

 

Stephen’s Walk of Fullness

The early church was grateful that God had placed men in their midst whose walk with God was characterized as fullness. When the church “looked out among them” (Acts 6:3), they were looking for those whose reputations had been time-tested and proven. In prayerfully thinking through the situation, the apostles identified six specific character qualifications, and Stephen met all six.

 

1- Men Known to Be Honorable

Acts 6:3 Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business;

 

The church’s challenge is to choose those men who stand out because they have earned respect for the lives they live. Dependable men whom the people would be happy to follow are often the kind of men who will make good deacons. A deacon’s conduct and character ought to stand out in such a way that people both inside and outside the church count him as an honorable man. God raises up in every church such men, and it is the responsibility of the church to seek them out.

 

2- Men Who Would Serve with Others on a Team

Acts 6:3 Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business;

                                                                                                                   

Men on a team must be able to serve together, listen to others’ opinions, put the good of others first, etc. Someone said it well, “Teamwork simply stated is less me and more we”. Deacons who focus on the will of God and the good of the church do not insist on getting their way when decisions need to be made. Instead, a good deacon insists that church work worth doing is worth doing together.

 

3– Men Who Were of Good Reputation

Acts 6:3 Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business.

 

Honesty and trust both inside and outside the church form the foundation of a deacon’s reputation. Deacons handle delicate and sometimes confidential affairs of those whom they serve. Therefore, deacons must be men with an impeccable reputation. A good deacon believes his reputation is worth more than gold.

 

4- Men Filled With the Spirit of God

Acts 6:3 Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business.

 

A deacon should spend quality time alone with God reading the Bible, allowing God to mold his character; and seeking guidance, direction, cleansing and fresh grace to live each day. It is during this time with God that a deacon asks the Lord to fill him with the Holy Spirit, to clothe him with humility, to empower him for service, and to guard him from temptation. The first deacons were men who, upon examination by the church, were known to be men filled with the Holy Spirit. The church should expect no less today. Every man who serves as a deacon should be full of (controlled by) the Holy Spirit.

 

5- Men Who Were Wise and Competent

Acts 6:3 Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business.

 

One scientist quipped, “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life”. A deacon with wisdom serves the church in a skillful, deliberate, and organized way. In Stephen’s day, a lack of skill would have only added to the murmuring of disgruntled church members. It is vital that we are wise in meeting the needs of the people appropriately. A wise deacon handle people and their needs with proper care, knowing that unrest and disharmony within the church quench God’s glory in the church.

 

6- Men Who Were Responsible and Diligent

Acts 6:3 Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business;

 

Being a deacon is not about status; it is about service. It is not a position to hold; it is a mission to do. A healthy, growing church cannot be built on spare time and pocket change. It requires commitment, spiritual sweat, and hard work. Our business is God’s business and God’s business is saving souls! Deacons are on the front line of servant leading the church to be effective and efficient in the Lord’s work.

 

Stephen’s Walk of Faithfulness

Stephen’s life was marked by fullness and faithfulness. Remember, it is recorded twice that Stephen was “full of faith” (Acts 6:5,8). He was faithful to the Gospel, faithful to his testimony, and faithful to the truth of Scripture. The Biblical record shows three ways faithfulness characterized Stephen’s walk.

 

1- He Was Faithful with God’s Ministry

Acts 6:8 And Stephen, full of faith and power, did great wonders and signs among the people.

 

Notice that the passage said he “did great wonders and signs”. If God has given us a ministry, then He expects us to do something with it. Stephen was faithful to carry out what God had given him and gifted him to do. Remember, deacons are given a work to do more than a position to fill.

 

1 Peter 4:10 As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.

 

2- He Was Faithful With the Gospel Message

Acts 6:10 And they were not able to resist the wisdom and the Spirit by which he spoke.

 

Stephen knew the Bible and was a great apologist- defender of the faith. Deacons are not required to be able to teach/preach as a pastor is, but he is to be sound in doctrine. A deacon should know what he believes and why he believes it. When a deacon is speaking on Biblical matters, he should be capable to defend and declare the truth.

 

1 Peter 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;

 

3- He Was Faithful With Good Motives

Acts 6:15 And all who sat in the council, looking steadfastly at him, saw his face as the face of an angel.

 

Stephen’s countenance glowed from the inside out. That is just the way it is, one’s inner life cannot remain hidden. Not only must a deacon’s heart be pure, but a deacon’s motive must be pure and undefiled as he serves the church that ordained him.

 

Matthew 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

 

Stephen’s Walk of Forgiveness

Stephen’s life was marked by fullness, faithfulness, and forgiveness. Stephen practiced the teachings of Jesus from the Sermon on the Mount about forgiveness.

 

Matthew 5:43-46 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?

 

Stephen also practiced the principle of overcoming evil with good of which the Apostle Paul wrote.

Romans 12:17-21 Repay no one evil for evil. Have[a] regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

 

Stephen’s walk of forgiveness afforded him a standing ovation by the Lord.

Acts 7:55-60 But he, being full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God, 56 and said, “Look! I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God!” 57 Then they cried out with a loud voice, stopped their ears, and ran at him with one accord; 58 and they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul. 59 And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60 Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

 

What higher honor could there possibly be? In forgiveness, Stephen was just like Jesus.

Luke 23:34 Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

 

In summary, a deacon who is going to be all God wants him to be is a deacon like Stephen. His walk will be characterized by the fullness of the Holy Spirit, faithfulness in serving both God and the church, and forgiveness in his relationship with others.

Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

 

Discussion Questions:

 

1- In your opinion, why is teamwork so important in deacon ministry?

2- What should be done with a deacon who refuses to serve or is unable to work well with others? Why do you give this answer?

3- We talk about “serving God with your whole heart.” What does this phrase suggest to you? With all the pressures and stresses of our culture today, do you think it is even possible for a deacon to serve with his “whole” heart? How does the phrase “we have to be selective to be effective” apply to ministry and deacon service.

 

If this blog post has grabbed your curiosity and you would like to know more please pursue any/all of the below options:

1-              Contact me at pastor@missionchurchlex.org

2-              Check out our church website Misisonchurchlex.org

3-              Visit us for Community Celebration and Worship every Sunday at 9am and 11am (Facebook livestreaming available at 9am) and Mission Groups                   Wednesday at 630pm. We are located at 3288 Beaver Creek Drive Lexington KY 40515.

4-              Follow us on Facebook www.facebook.com/missionchurch.lex

5-              Continue to read this weekly blog- “Find your Why with Pastor D”


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Yes, I’m Mrs. Pastor…

I was walking into a women’s Bible study at church on a Saturday and we were doing name tags, and I don’t know what came over me, but I wrote down “Mrs. Pastor” on my name tag. Of course, it was funny, but why in the world did I do it? Everyone that knew me there knew I was the Pastor’s Wife. Yes, I like to joke around and have fun. I even got to park in my husband’s senior pastor parking spot, so maybe that is what started it all. I was proud to be the Pastor’s wife and just carried it on to my name tag! No matter what, that is the fact. I AM PROUD TO BE THE SENIOR PASTOR’S WIFE! I am proud to be my husband’s wife. I am proud to be in service to the KING of KINGS with my husband, the senior pastor!
 (I Corinthians 7:3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.)
 
My husband and I have been on this journey of ministering together for 23 years. I can tell you about many stories and amazing things that have happened throughout these years (and I probably will at some point) but what I want to share with you at this very moment of my life is that no matter where God takes you and no matter what He takes you through, HE IS ALWAYS THERE! HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU! HE WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU! HE LOVES YOU! HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
 
Back a few years ago I created the Facebook Page, Daily Life of a Pastor’s Wife, and was really good about posting encouraging quotes and verses and then life as usual gets in the way. I still post things there occasionally, but it is now also going to be the name of this blog. They are all connected, well, because that is who I am. A pastor’s wife and it is a daily thing no matter where I am at. 
 
Today is Sunday, I have edited and uploaded the sermon video, I have updated the website, I got distracted and finally started writing this, of course I have a few other things to do, but here I am. Writing. I could already be taking a Sunday afternoon nap by now. This evening is a rare occurrence where there is nothing going on for church tonight. What am I doing on here then? Well, I am being that daily pastor’s wife who tries to do a million things that she doesn’t need to do but gets to do or wants to do. It is my privilege to be such that person. I thank God that He chose me to be a pastor’s wife. One who has a daily life just like everyone else but is serving next to her pastor for the glory of God and to further His kingdom so that all may know the name above every other name, JESUS!
 
(Colossians 3:17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.)
 
I am not going to write much more right now, because yes, my eyes are getting sleepy, but this is all that is needed to be said for right now. Wives, go love on your husbands, Woman of God, go love on your Savior! He is all you need!
 
 

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Lesson #4 The Deacon & His Worship

Hello TMC Family and Friends!

during the month of July 2023, we received deacon nominations from the congregation. After the Board of Elders prayerfully and carefully evaluated the nominations, we are happy to report that we have two strong deacon candidates and one yokefellow candidate (deacon in preparation) that we believe God has provided to serve The Mission Church of Lexington! These three men are now being trained to serve in this important Biblical office. If once the deacon training is finished and the deacon candidates as well as the Board of Elders believe the Lord is still leading in this matter, these three men will be presented to the church during the “Information and Celebration Gathering” on December 3rd for church affirmation. The newly established Board of Deacons will begin their tenure in January 2024. Over the next 6 weeks I will be sharing with you through this blog the sessions that I am using to train and equip our deacons so they can be the deacons they want to be and so they can be the deacons that TMC needs them to be! I believe the information in these sessions have spiritual and practical benefit to every Christian and every covenant church member.

 

Scenario Conversation Starter:

Harold and Betty have been long-time, faithful members of the church, but lately they have grown concerned with the direction the worship is taking: the music seems too loud; the songs are unfamiliar; and a growing number of young adults have been closing their eyes and lifting their hands during worship- even shouting occasionally. Plus, Harold and Betty get tired of standing so long during the music. “Why can’t we sit down every now and then?” they whisper to each other. While Harold is slowly adapting to the new worship style. Betty continues to think that church services should be quiet, reverent, and sacred. To her, people being expressive and energetic during the church worship service really bothers her. She thinks it’s downright distracting and just makes her feel uncomfortable. She doesn’t know if it will do any good, but she decides to talk to someone who has influence to let him know that she is not the only one who feels this way.

If Betty knew you were a deacon and sought you out to share her concerns with you, what would you tell her and how would you try to help her? As a deacon, what is your responsibility if or when a situation like this arises at The Mission Church of Lexington?

 

As much as I love to preach and teach the Word of God, I can assure you that without a regular schedule of public and private worship of the Lord Jesus Christ I would be totally ineffective as a pastor of this church and a preacher of the Gospel. I simply must worship. I cannot live and function without it. And neither can you!

 

“Worship” is a compound word that means to “give worth”. Worshipping God acknowledges that He is worthy of what we are giving. God demands, deserves, and desires our worship. The result of sincere worship is a yielded and obedient heart. The Bible has a lot to say about worship, and Jesus was specific in what he had to say about it.

 

John 4:23-24 But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. 24 God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.

Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.
 

God is standing and knocking at the door of our heart, desiring not only to speak to us but also to spend time with us. As spiritual leaders, deacons have a need to worship God in spirit and in truth, and two aspects of worship must exist for a deacon to be faithful to the Word, to the church, and to prayer and praise.

 

1- A Deacon and His Private Worship

As spiritual leaders, our private time alone with God should be the top priority of every day. If a deacon is not having regular communion with the God he serves, how can he ever hope to fulfill his calling? Deacons cannot lead others where they have not been or are not willing to go themselves.

 

A deacon, therefore, must be a worshipper if he hopes to help others become worshippers. Personal time alone with God was Jesus’ habit. Habits are often thought of negatively, but habits can be positive. I call these holy habits. A deacon can have no better habit than beginning each day with the Lord.

 

Mark 1:35 Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.

 

The times of corporate worship are only as good as the accumulation of the individual times of our private worship. Don’t just come to church to worship but bring your worship to church with you! Several aspects of private worship are: 

  1. To be in conversation with God
  2. To be in communion with God
  3. To be consumed by God.

 

Private worship leads to personal purity. Purity in turn empowers public service. To be a deacon you want to be, you must realize that nothing ranks higher than personal purity. If you miss in the area of personal purity, everything else falls by the wayside.

 

2- A Deacon and His Public Worship

It just makes sense that a deacon should attend and participate in the events his church deems important. And what is more important than the worship services where the congregation gathers for music and praise, prayer, Bible preaching, collecting an offering, fellowship as a church body, and a time of personal decision and commitment. A deacon should be faithful in worship.

 

Deacons and pastors are the only church officers mentioned in the New Testament, and they share equal responsibility in promoting and attending church services. Since no group ever rises above its leadership, pastors and deacons should set the example for faithful attendance and participation. In so doing, they will be raising the standard for the rest of the church family to follow their example.

 

1 Corinthians 11:1 Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ.

 

An important part of public worship is the giving of tithes and offerings, and a deacon should be faithful to this part of public worship. A man should not be considered for ordination or installation as a deacon if he does not contribute financial support to his own church. The faithfulness of a man in giving to the church he serves is one of the clearest indicators of his true attitude toward the church. How can a deacon serve a church when his heart is not in it? It will be very difficult for a pastor to lead church members to give faithfully when their deacons are not setting the example.

 

Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

 

Prayer is another significant part of public worship, and a deacon must be faithful in prayer. Like private worship, a deacon must practice private prayer during the week if he is to be effective in his public prayers on Sunday. Because they share spiritual leadership in the church, deacons and pastors ought to be the most faithful prayer warriors in the church, praying for the needs of the people. One of the greatest blessings a deacon can bestow on his pastor is to pray with him and for him. Fellas, I need the prayer and you need the practice… so keep those prayers coming my way!

 

Deacons should also be sensitive to those who attend public worship services. God may use a deacon more while he is on his way to a service than when he is in his normal place of service. A deacon’s opportunities to serve can occur in the most unexpected places. Jesus said that the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love other people. We show our love to God during public worship services, but those services do not necessarily provide the opportunity to show love to others as much as other times of personal ministry. The Good Samaritan (Luke 10) showed his love and concern not in a worship setting but in a roadside setting.

 

A deacon should be faithful in his support of the pastor. This partnership is on full display before a watching congregation. The church will have its highest expression of worship when pastor and deacons serve God in a loving partnership.

 

In closing, everything God wants a deacon to be and everything a deacon wants to be- extends from his heart as a sincere worshipper of God. A deacon’s private worship life energizes his public worship life with a vibrant faith that overflows to the people he serves. Worship is the key to being an effective deacon.

 

Discussion Questions:

  1. Share about your private time with the Lord? What does your daily devotional life look like?
  2. Jesus said he is look for worshippers who will worship the Father in spirit and truth (John 4:23-24), what do you think is meant by this?
  3. How does a deacon’s giving reflect his attitude toward the church he serves? Can anyone share some of the blessings you have received by giving your tithes and offerings to Christ through the His church?
 
 

If this blog post has grabbed your curiosity and you would like to know more, please pursue any/all of the below options:

1-              Contact me at pastor@missionchurchlex.org

2-              Check out our church website Misisonchurchlex.org

3-              Visit us for Community Celebration and Worship every Sunday at 9am and 11am (Facebook livestreaming available at 9am) and Mission Groups                   each Wednesday at 630pm. We are located at 3288 Beaver Creek Drive Lexington KY 40515.

4-              Follow us on Facebook www.facebook.com/missionchurch.lex

5-              Continue to read this weekly blog- “Find your Why with Pastor D”


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Lesson #3 The Deacon & His Wife

Hello TMC Family and Friends,

During the month of July 2023 we received deacon nominations from the congregation. After the Board of Elders prayerfully and carefully evaluated the nominations, we are happy to report that we have two strong deacon candidates and one yokefellow candidate (deacon in preparation) that we believe God has provide to serve The Mission Church of Lexington! These three men are now being trained to serve in this important Biblical office. If once the deacon training is finished and the deacon candidates as well as the Board of Elders believe the Lord is still leading in this matter, these three men will be presented to the church during the “Information and Celebration Gathering” on December 3rd for church affirmation. The newly established Board of Deacons will begin their tenure in January 2024. Over the next 6 weeks I will be sharing with you through this blog the sessions that I am using to train and equip our deacons so they can be the deacons they want to be and so they can be the deacons that TMC needs them to be! I believe the information in these sessions have spiritual and practical benefit to every Christian and every covenant church member.

 

Scenario Conversation Starter:

It is deacon nomination time again at The Church in the Mountains, and two fine men are being considered for nomination. Don has been married for 12 years, has a stellar reputation as a godly man whose wife is exemplary in every way. Carol is active in the church, teaching third grade girls, singing in the choir, and serving wherever needed. James has been married 14 years and also has a stellar reputation as a godly man with much ability and willingness to serve. However, Patty, James’ wife, is not consistent with her church attendance and doesn’t volunteer in any church sponsored ministries.  She is also known for being overly outspoken, loud, and opinionated whenever the church as a body makes decisions she doesn’t agree with. Sometimes she prefers discussing matters publicly instead of privately and other times she prefers to talk privately about people instead of going directly to them for clarification and resolution. When Patty is upset about something at church or at home, people are going to hear about it.

  • If you were evaluating these two men to serve as deacon, how would the conduct of their wives’ factor into your                          decision?
  • Would James’ wife’s behavior prevent him from becoming a deacon?
  • How does Don’s wife’s behavior add credibility and value to him becoming a deacon?

 

I know you would agree with me that the contribution your wife makes to you and your home is priceless. And this is especially true when you are a pastor or a deacon. To say that a deacon’s wife plays a vital role in her husband’s ministry is an understatement. I’ve heard it said that no one prevents a deacon from walking with Christ, but if anyone could, it would be his wife. Yet at the same time, no one can be a greater encouragement to a deacon than his wife.

 

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.

 

Like it or not, when a man become a deacon, his wife is elevated to a position in the church where more is expected of her. I like to think of her influence as a fragrance of encouragement that extends from her innermost being into the life and ministry of her husband and to all with whom she comes into contact. She can bring great joy to his service and at the same time being joy to everyone around her. Let it be said that the value of a godly, supportive wife is incalculable.

Many sermons have been preached on the qualifications of a deacon, but very few on the qualifications of the deacon’s wife. Yet the Bible is not silent about this matter. Instead, it speaks clearly of her attributes, her ministry, and the home she shares together with her husband. As we explore the qualities of a deacon’s wife in this lesson, keep the following statements in mind: A deacon’s wife needs to share the same calling with her husband and a deacon’s wife needs to have the same character as her husband.

 

Let’s first look at the general qualities for all Christian wives. From this lengthy but beautiful passage of Scripture about the godly woman, we discover four general qualities of a good wife.

 

Proverbs 31:10-31 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. 15 She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants. 16 She considers a field and buys it; From [c]her profits she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

 

1- The Treasures of a Good Wife (v10-12)

A good wife is a virtuous woman. The writer uses the word “virtuous” which means integrity and moral strength. A good wife is strong in all moral qualities. She is also a valuable woman to her husband and family. The word “worth” speaks of her preciousness. Ruth is the only women in the Old Testament who is called a “virtuous woman” (Ruth 3:11). Solomon would have given a king’s ransom for a woman like Ruth. The prayer of every deacon’s wife ought to be “Lord, make me a virtuous woman”.

 

To what does the Bible connect the value of a good wife? It connects her value with her love. Verse 11 contains a phrase that describes the heart of a deacon for his wife, “the heart of her husband safely trusts her.” A deacon has great confidence in serving when he can safely trust his wife. Trust is one of the most important elements in a relationship. Allow that trust to be destroyed, and you will struggle the rest of your life in your marital relationship.

 

2- The Thrust of a Good Wife (V13-22)

Note that a good wife is a hard worker (V13). The fact that she willing works implies that she is not serving her husband or her church out of forced obligation; instead, she is serving out of calling and passion. As a result, she has a busy and productive life. A deacon’s wife allows God to take the capacity she has and uses it both inside the home and outside the home. She is a completer not a competitor with her husband. She has strong ministry chemistry together.

Verses 14-22 describe the activities of the good wife, and those activities display the following qualities of her character:

  • She is not lazy.
  • She is health-conscious and energetic.
  • She is generous.

 

Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might.

Colossians 3:23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men.

 

3- The Truths of a Good Wife (V23-26)

It has been jokingly said, behind every good man you will find…. A surprised mother-in-law… lol. Behind every good man you will find an even better woman.  Verse 23 says “her husband is known in the gates”. This means a good wife has a positive influence on the effectiveness of a man to achieve and accomplish goals and responsibilities in life. Because his wife encourages his strengths, helps his weaknesses, counsels him wisely, builds up his confidence, helps mold his character, and gently ministers to him as he ministers to others.

Furthermore, a good and godly wife imparts confidence in her husband (V25-26). These verses move from what a good woman does with her hands to what is in her heart. Among her greatest assets is “wisdom”, the ability to live life skillfully. Wisdom is the right application of knowledge. Additionally, “the law of kindness is on her lips”. This means the deacons wife should have a mind full of wisdom and a mouth full of kindness. When this is the case, she will bring great benefit to her husband’s life and ministry.

 

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction.

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 [a]gentleness, self-control. 

Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

 

4- The Testimony of a good wife (V27-31)

As far as her family is concerned, she is the greatest wife and mother in the world. Therefore, a good wife deserves adoration and honor. The best wife a man can have is one who loves God first of all and most of all. Because when she is accurately loving her Heavenly Father God, she can accurately love her earthly family.

Matthew 22:36-38 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” 37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment.

 

We have now looked at four general qualities for all Christian wives. Now let’s look at Four Specific Qualities of a deacon’s wife.

 

1 Timothy 3:11 Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.

 

1- A Deacon’s Wife Should Be Reverent

Placing the qualities of a deacon’s wife in the same text as the qualifications for a pastor and a deacon shows just how important her role is. The word “reverent” means that the deacon’s wife should be serious about her calling; she can help her husband to serve as deacon or she can hinder her husband from serving as deacon. A wife can either make or break any man who serves in the ministry. “Reverent” also means that the deacon’s wife demonstrates self-respect in her conduct. The Apostle Paul stated that he was careful to keep his conscience clear with God and with others so there would be no barriers to making God known.

 

Titus 2:3 The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things.

 

2- A Deacon’s Wife Should Be Responsible

The word “devil” is translated from the same word as the word “slanderer”. This term also means “doubled tongued” and refers to one who is given to finding fault with others. This type of divisive conduct is simply irresponsible and may severely damage the unity of the church.

Remember, the deacon’s ministry began in response to a need that was causing division in Acts chapter 6. A deacon’s wife would be hypocritical to engage in conduct that creates the same problem she is responsible for preventing. Here are the three principles to help guard against being double-tongued:

  1. How one discusses another person’s character disclose one’s own character.
  2. An irresponsible wife easily disqualifies a potential deacon.
  3. A deacon’s wife manages her opinions and her concerns responsibly.

 

Proverbs 21:23 Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles.

James 3:8 But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

 

3- A Deacon’s Wife Should Be Reasonable

The word “temperate” conveys the idea that the deacon’s wife must be sober in judgment and have self-control by not cheapening the ministry or the Gospel message by foolish behavior. “Temperate” also means to have a serious attitude and earnestness toward the deacon’s work. “Temperate” can also mean vigilant, an attitude which can be expressed in four ways:

  1. Being practical
  2. Being sensible
  3. Being logical
  4. Being fair in dealing with others.

 

Proverbs 28:26 He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered.

 

4- A Deacon’s Wife Should Be Reliable

The world “reliable” means “faithful in all things,” and can be used both in a passive sense and in an active sense. The passive sense means that others can rely on her. The active sense means that she relies on God and those He has placed in authority over her in leading the church.

Colossians 1:10 That you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.

Hebrews 13:17 Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.

 

In closing, the wife of a deacon wants to grow in faith and be faithful in service just like her husband. There is simply no way to place a value on a wife who is a good and godly woman. She is priceless. And together with her husband, they will prove to be strong servants of the Lord by serving the local church.

 

Discussion Questions:

1- This lesson states that church members expect a higher standard of conduct from a deacon’s wife because of her husband’s position. Do you think this expectation is reasonable or unreasonable? Why or why not?
 
2- Situations like medical emergencies, bereavement, and special events can really disrupt a deacon’s time at home with family. How can a deacon’s wife support her husband when the demands of the ministry are unexpected or time consuming? How should the deacon handle the situation of a wife who has become unsupportive of his ministry commitments?
 

3- What should the relationship between a deacon and his wife look like anyway? How does the Bible describe how a husband and wife should interact with each other? What are signs of an unhealthy relationship within a deacon’s home?

 

If this blog post has grabbed your curiosity and you would like to know more, please pursue any/all of the below options:

1-              Contact me at pastor@missionchurchlex.org

2-              Check out our church website Misisonchurchlex.org

3-              Visit us for Community Celebration and Worship every Sunday at 9am and 11am (Facebook livestreaming available at 9am) and Mission Groups                    each Wednesday at 630pm. We are located at 3288 Beaver Creek Drive Lexington KY 40515.

4-              Follow us on Facebook www.facebook.com/missionchurch.lex

5-              Continue to read this weekly blog- “Find your Why with Pastor D”


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Lesson #2 The Deacon & His Work

Hello TMC Family and Friends,
 
During the month of July 2023, we received deacon nominations from the congregation. After the Board of Elders prayerfully and carefully evaluated the nominations, we are happy to report that we have two strong deacon candidates and one yokefellow candidate (deacon in preparation) that we believe God has provided to serve The Mission Church of Lexington! These three men are now being trained to serve in this important Biblical office. If once the deacon training is finished and the deacon candidates as well as the Board of Elders believe the Lord is still leading in this matter, these three men will be presented to the church during the “Information and Celebration Gathering” on December 3rd for church affirmation. The newly established Board of Deacons will begin their tenure in January 2024. Over the next 6 weeks I will be sharing with you through this blog the sessions that I am using to train and equip our deacons so they can be the deacons they want to be and so they can be the deacons that TMC needs them to be! I believe the information in these sessions have spiritual and practical benefit to every Christian and every covenant church member.
 
Scenario Conversation Starter:
     
Pastor John serves a church of 400 members in the Midwest. He has been there about two and a half years, he really loves the people, and sees a lot of potential for future growth. Pastor John really wants the church to grasp his vision and passion for the lost, and he has many ideas for ways to reach prospects in their community through service opportunities, special events, and Sunday school. Unfortunately, few people in the church share his passion, especially those with influence. Ray, who is the chairman of the deacons and a member of the finance committee, cannot understand why Pastor John is so concerned with growing the church. Additional people will create growing pains, added expenses, overcrowded facilities- not to mention will create more parking problems. One day Ray tells Pastor John, “You just preach the Word, visit the hospitals, and see to the marrying and burying, and let us take care of the rest. We’ll be fine.” Pastor John is frustrated but knows in his heart that the Lord has called him to lead this church. He is committed to seeing it through no matter what, but desperately needs someone to talk to.
If Pastor John came to you for advice, what would you tell him?
What would you say to Ray?
How could you try to influence change in the church without creating disunity?
 
Deacon service is not just a position to hold; it is a mission to fulfill and a work to be done. Acts chapter 6 is a key text that captures the core work of a deacon in the local church.
 
Acts 6:1-4 Now in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplying, there arose a complaint against the Hebrews by the Hellenists, because their widows were neglected in the daily distribution. 2 Then the twelve summoned the multitude of the disciples and said, “It is not desirable that we should leave the word of God and serve tables. 3 Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business; 4 but we will give ourselves continually to prayer and to the ministry of the word.
 
Though seven men were chosen, they are not actually called “deacons” in this passage. Their selection, however, shows the initial action of the church to choose men who would help the apostles by serving the church body. Scholars believe that this text represents the earliest recorded activities of the church office that would later be called deacon. The five reasons the early church needed deacons indicate the kind of work they were assigned to accomplish.
 
1- To Help Manage the Logistics of Church Growth
 
A church experiences growing pains much like a child as he or she is growing up and experiencing changing needs. When the church grows, the needs grow, costs grow, and someone must pay the price for that growth. Growth may require a church to go to multiple services, adjust programming times, enter a building program, purchase more land, create more parking, add staff members, and expand ministries. Growth demands change, and growth changes things.
 
The early church faced difficulties because of growing pains. Glancing back to the beginning of Acts, we see the explanation for the wonderful growth recorded in chapter six where Jesus’ directive for mission was being followed.
 
Acts 1:8 But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.
 
By the time of Acts chapter six, the early church had saturated Jerusalem with the Gospel. They had also influenced the neighboring communities and were positioned to evangelize Samaria. When the apostles became bogged down serving the growing congregation with virtually no help, they then added the office of the deacon. The early church needed to change because they were growing and because they needed to continue to grow.
 
Following Jesus’ clear instructions, the goal of the early church was to take the Gospel to the whole world. It is no less our goal as well today! The apostles made a wise decision in appointing these seven men for service, and because they were appointed, the church was better able to grow in faith and be faithful in service.
 
2- To Protect Church Harmony
 
“Hebrews” refers to Jewish disciples of Christ who spoke the Hebrew language, while “Hellenists” were Jewish converts from Greek-speaking lands. These “Hellenists” had come to Jerusalem for Pentecost but had stayed with their new family and faith rather than return home.
Because of the “complaints” that arose between these two groups, the early church was vulnerable to a church split. Church splits often occur because people are dissatisfied or complaining. Deacons have a great responsibility to help maintain church harmony. Jesus does not expect uniformity, but He does expect unity within the church family.
 
John 17:20-21 I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; 21 that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.
 
Complaining can destroy the unity of the church. The Greek work “koinonia” was a special word used to describe the communion (fellowship or harmonious relationship) enjoyed by the early church. Just as Christians have communion because of our bond with Jesus Christ, deacons should endeavor to help protect that harmony within the Body of Christ.
 
Ephesians 4:3 Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
 
3- To Provide for the Needy
 
The need for deacons arose because of the needs of the people, and the apostles demonstrated just how important people are by ensuring that those needs were met. A single yet profound truth to remember is: “God loves people and if we love what God loves we will love people too”. Churches have the duty and the delight to assist in meeting legitimate needs of their members.
 
Galatians 6:10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.
 
James 1:27 Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.
 
Since deacons are called to meet the needs of people, they ought to do so faithfully so the pastor can do what he has been called to do. Pastors are truly blessed when they are surrounded by deacons who are serious about service. The pastor has a built-in desire to minster to every member of the church, but because this is usually not possible for one Pastor (or even the Pastoral Staff), deacons are called on to assist. The pastor, therefore, can lead in confidence knowing that the people’s needs are being met just as if he were doing it himself.
 
4- To Prioritize the Ministry
 
The principle that guided the apostle’s decision to appoint men to serve was a simple understanding that the church needed to work together to be effective in ministry. Their motto might have read: “None of us can do alone what all of us can do together”.
 
Ephesians 4:11-12 And He Himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.
 
1 Peter 4:10 As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
 
With deacons in place to serve tables, the apostles were set free to prioritize the ministry. For them, nothing could override their responsibility in giving themselves continually to prayer and the ministry of the Word. When deacons serve the practical and logistical needs of the congregation, the pastor is given the time to spend time in the Word in preparation to preach and teach. This also frees the pastor to plan and prepare to lead the church forward in the vision the Lord has placed upon his heart to share with the other leaders and the congregation. Every pastor needs to be fortunate enough to have deacons serving alongside him who minister to the needs of the people so he can have time and energy to “speak to God about the church and then to speak to the church about God”.
 
5- To Ensure Gospel Penetration
 
Because the apostles kept their priorities, and the appointed men served the people, the church experienced great results. The Word of God increased, the number of disciples multiplied, and great company of priests were obedient to the faith.
 
The important lesson to learn is that when ministry is conducted appropriately, the church grows exponentially. Deacons who base their ministry on the blueprint given in Acts chapter 6 will be growing in their faith and faithful in their service.
 
In conclusion, no church exists that does not face difficulties, and usually one man alone cannot handle them. This is the context we observe in Acts chapter 6 which leads to the appointment of a church position we know as deacons. Deacons were to be men of the highest character and deepest commitment who were poised to keep peace in the congregation while serving the people. As a result, the apostles set themselves to continually pray and seek God. Their preaching became more powerful than ever because they did not have to leave the Word of God and serve tables. Faithful deacons serving the Lord by serving the people were largely responsible for the new growth.
 
Discussion Questions:
 
1. The church in the book of Acts grew despite internal problems. Think about problems you have seen in churches you have attended or served. How were the problems handled and what was the result? How did the deacons in those churches help or hurt in those situations? In your opinion, what could have been done differently?
 
2. Consider for a moment the harmony and unity of The Mission Church of Lexington. Since unity is the catalyst for church growth, discuss in a positive way any issues that may be hindering or threatening church unity. How can the deacons work with the Pastor to overcome these?
 
3. Far too many churches have strained relationships between the Pastor and the deacons. What are some way to ensure the partnership between the Pastor and the deacons of TMC remains positive, strong, and effective?
 
If this blog post has grabbed your curiosity and you would like to know more please pursue any/all of the below options:
1- Contact me at pastor@missionchurchlex.org
2- Check out our church website Misisonchurchlex.org
3- Visit us for Community Celebration and Worship every Sunday at 9am and 11am (Facebook livestreaming available at 9am) and Mission Groups each          Wednesday at 630pm. We are located at 3288 Beaver Creek Drive Lexington KY 40515.
4- Follow us on Facebook www.facebook.com/missionchurch.lex
5- Continue to read this weekly blog- “Find your Why with Pastor D”

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Lesson #1 The Deacon & His Worthiness

Hello TMC Family and Friends,

During the month of July 2023 we received deacon nominations from the congregation. After the Board of Elders prayerfully and carefully evaluated the nominations, we are happy to report that we have two strong deacon candidates and one yokefellow candidate (deacon in preparation) that we believe God has provided to serve The Mission Church of Lexington!

These three men are now being trained to serve in this important Biblical office. If once the deacon training is finished and the deacon candidates as well as the Board of Elders believe the Lord is still leading in this matter, these three men will be presented to the church during the “Information and Celebration Gathering” on December 3rd for church affirmation. The newly established Board of Deacons will begin their tenure in January 2024. Over the next 6 weeks I will be sharing with you through this blog the sessions that I am using to train and equip our deacons so they can be the deacons they want to be and so they can be the deacons that TMC needs them to be! I believe the information in these sessions have spiritual and practical benefit to every Christian and every covenant church member.

 

Scenario Conversation Starter:

Carlton has served as a deacon in his local church for eight years, a church where many of his friends and family members attend. Needless to say, he was excited when he was first nominated and ordained as a deacon, but in recent years some of the excitement has faded, and being a deacon has become somewhat of a chore. Lately, Carlton has experienced some business setbacks that have motivated him to look for answers that have been hard to come by. As a result of searching the Scriptures for direction and considering his position as deacon, he is coming to grips with some glaring shortcomings in his life, specifically in the areas of foul language, conduct at work, and his example at home. One day while having lunch with a business colleague who is also a deacon at the same church, Carlton shares his concerns and guilt feelings. The fellow deacon lightheartedly dismisses the matter by saying, “You know, Carlton, everyone has faults. You’re no worse than anyone else. We’re all working on something, man. If you’re asking for my advice, I’d tell you to chill out.”

If you had been Carlton, how would you have responded to your fellow deacon?

If you had been the fellow deacon confided in, how would you have responded to Carlton when he shared his concerns with you?

 

As a pastor, I can assure you that there is nothing much better than serving alongside of men called by God to serve in the Biblical servant leadership position of deacon. These men are to be qualified, willing to work together in harmony, enjoy each other’s company, and take their calling seriously. This is the partnership between pastors and deacons that we will strive to create and maintain at The Mission Church of Lexington.

 

In Ephesians chapter 4, Paul tells believers how to “walk worthy of the calling” God has placed on their life. These instructions are given to every believer in the church body; however, they apply especially to deacons.

 

Ephesians 4:1-2 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love.

 

Here we find 5 characteristics that clearly demonstrate how every deacon is to “walk worthy” of their calling:

          1- By knowing they have been called by God to serve

          2- By being faithful in their service

          3- By humbly viewing service as a privilege, not a right

          4- By exercising patience as they serve

          5- By exemplifying a forgiving spirit

 

While these 5 characteristics show all believers- including deacons- how to walk worthy of their calling, the Bible goes further by listing qualifications that apply specifically to deacons. As we will see, much focus is placed on the deacon’s character. The church, therefore, should select deacons only after carefully examining their character, conduct, and commitment to the Christ and to His Church.

 

As an apostle and a pastor, Paul was sent by God to plant churches from Judea all the way to Rome. So naturally, he had a profound love for the churches he began. When he wrote to Timothy, he did so as a loving pastor. Since Paul knew his time on this earth was drawing to a close, he was particularly concerned that the churches he had poured his heart and soul into would continue on, healthy and stable without him.

 

Paul first lists the criteria for the pastors in 1 Timothy chapter 3:1-7, then follows with a list of qualifications the church is to use for deacons.

 

1 Timothy 3:8-13 Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, holding the [a]mystery of the faith with a pure conscience. 10 But let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found blameless. 11 Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not [b]slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things. 12 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. 13 For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a good standing and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.

 

Note that the qualifications Paul outlines for Deacons are purposely set against the backdrop of the qualifications for Pastors. In addition, the similarities between the qualifications of pastors and deacons underscore the awesome responsibility inherent in both Biblically mandated servant leadership positions.

 

Careful examination of the Biblical qualifications yields valuable insight about men being considered for ordination as well as deacons being reactivated for service.

 

1- A Deacon Must Have a Good Reputation
 

1 Timothy 3:8 Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money,

It has been said that it takes 20 years to build a reputation and only five minutes to destroy it. It has also been said we are all just one poor decision away from stupid. A man’s reputation is what other think of him, and a man’s character is what God knows about him. If we take care of our character our reputation will take care of itself!
 

Proverbs 3:3-4 Let not mercy and truth forsake you; Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, And so find favor and [a]high esteem in the sight of God and man.

 

The Bible uses the word “reverent” in the first qualification found in the list provided by Paul in 1 Timothy chapter 3. Recalling the initial process that called into existence the prototype of what later became called the office of deacon, the qualification of having a good reputation stood as the first apostolic requirement that the early church observed when me were called and choose to serve.

Acts 6:3 Therefore, brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business;

 

The phrase “good reputation” is synonymous with the word “reverent”.  Acts 6:3 brings clarity to the concept of “reverent”. To be reverent is to be controlled by the Holy Spirit and to be compelled by wisdom. A deacon should possess both supernatural and natural servant leadership gifting and ability. A deacon should have Biblical sense and common sense. Wisdom is simply the right application of knowledge. We gain knowledge by looking around, but we gain wisdom by looking up.
 

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction.

 

If deacons are men who are found to be full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, they will most likely continue to grow in faith and be faithful in service. Finally, it should be noted that a deacon’s reputation is not limited to the church family alone. His reputation must be stellar outside the church as well as inside the church.
 
 
2- A Deacon Must Be a Man of His Word
 

1 Timothy 3:8 Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money,

To be “double tongued” means to twist the truth, to relay a story one way to one person and another way to another person. Men who twist the truth disqualify themselves to serve as a deacon. Deacons must not be men of doubtful words. If they are, people will not believe them or trust them- therefore they will certainly not follow their leadership. A columnist once wrote: “The naked truth is always better than the best-dressed lie”.

 

Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, But those who deal truthfully are His delight.
 

James 5:12 But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your “Yes” be “Yes,” and your “No,” “No,” lest you fall into judgment.

 

3- A Deacon Must Be Without Offense

1 Timothy 3:8 Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money,

If we look back at the first qualification of a deacon (good reputation) and compare that to the activities associated with the use of alcohol in our society today, we must conclude that there is no way that the use of alcohol can enhance the reputation of a deacon. On the other hand, it can certainly do irreparable damage. Drinking inevitably brings offense and stumbling blocks both to the believer and to the unbeliever. A deacon must guard at all costs against becoming an unnecessary offense to others to guard the reputation of the Gospel and of the church he represents.
 

Proverbs 20:1 Wine is a mocker, Strong drink is a brawler, And whoever is led astray by it is not wise.

Romans 14:21 It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles [a]or is offended or is made weak.

1 Corinthians 10:23 All things are lawful [a]for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things [b]edify.

Ephesians 5:18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,

 

4- A Deacon Must Be a Generous Giver
 

1 Timothy 3:8 Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money,

The only antidote for greed (materialism) is generous giving. The best understanding of “greedy for money” is “an eagerness for dishonest gain”. It is not wrong to earn money, spend money, invest money, or save money. The danger is being so attached to money that a person is motivated to acquire it dishonestly and use it irresponsibility.

It has been said “you will never miss anything you willingly give away”. It has also been stated “we are never more like Jesus than when we give”. The Bible is clear that we cannot love God and money.

Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and [a]mammon.

 

Here’s the bottom line: Deacons ought to tithe. If deacons do not tithe, I believe they serve the church with an absent heart. The Bible gives us clear warnings about the consequences of being greedy for money, and no deacon serves faithfully who fosters greed in his heart.
 
Malachi 3:10 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, That there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this,” Says the Lord of hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven And pour out for you such blessing That there will not be room enough to receive it.

 

2 Corinthians 9:7 So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of [a]necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.

1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
 
 
5- A Deacon Must Have a Good Grip on God’s Word
 

1 Timothy 3:9 Holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience.

This phrase suggests having a clear understanding of basic Biblical teachings. Every deacon should have a clear understanding of orthodox doctrine such as salvation by grace through faith, the virgin birth of Christ, the resurrection, the doctrine of the church, and much more.

2 Timothy 2:15 Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

If this is expected of all believers, how much more should it apply to deacons who are called to serve the church.

Psalm 119:11 Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You.

If God’s Word works as a deterrent in my heart keeping me from sin, then I want as much of it as I can possibly have! It has been said “the Bible will keep you from sin or sin will keep you from the Bible”. At TMC we often say, “what you do with the Bible will determine what God does with you”.

Having a strong grip on God’s Word produces two indispensable effects in deacons: They will trust in God’s promises, and they will believe in God’s power. A deacon must not only know the Word of God, but he must also do the Word of God.

James 1:22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

 

6- A Deacon Must Be Proven
 

1 Timothy 3:10 But let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found blameless.

A man is not ordained as a deacon to acquire these qualifications. He is ordained because he already has them. A prospective deacon should be put to the test before he is given the trust to be a deacon.

1 Timothy 5:22 Do not lay hands on anyone hastily, nor share in other people’s sins; keep yourself pure.

To be “tested” means that his walk is to be examined for evidence of faithfulness to the responsibilities that he will be assigned as a deacon. No man should be elected to the office of deacon if he has established a pattern of unfaithfulness in areas such as church attendance, tithing, sharing his faith, prayer, and Bible study, etc. Instead, he should be proven in all these areas and many more.

Matthew 25:21 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’

 

7- A Deacon Must Be Blameless
 

1 Timothy 3:10 But let these also first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found blameless.

The term “blameless” implies that the person has not been accurately accused. That is, there are no valid accusations being circulated that might indicate or point to problems with his character or conduct. The word “blameless” also implies a conscience that is clear of conflict between himself and others.

Acts 24:16 This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men.

A blameless deacon has nothing in his life that Satan, the unsaved, or even the carnal Christian can use to criticize or attack him or the church. This does not mean that a blameless deacon is a perfect deacon; instead; it means that he is consistently seeking to live above reproach and to not bring embarrassment upon the cause of Christ.
 

Philippians 2:14-15 Do all things without complaining and disputing, 15 that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,

 

 

8- A Deacon Must be a One-Woman Man
 

1 Timothy 3:12 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

The “husband of one wife” is a man who is sexually pure and whose marriage commitment is to one woman only. The deacon is to be morally and sexually pure. A deacon is to be a man who has brought his sexual desires under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. A man who is not faithful to his wife should neither serve nor continue to serve as a deacon.

Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for [a]sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Matthew 5:28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;

 

9- A Deacon Must Be a Good Father
 

1 Timothy 3:12 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

I believe that men who are known for leading, training, and discipling their children well have an excellent background for which to serve as a deacon. The implication here is not that their children must be perfect or without struggle, but that they have been nurtured correctly, instructed Biblically, guided safely, and disciplined appropriately.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

Proverbs 20:7 The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed after him.

Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

 

10- A Deacon Must Be the Spiritual Leader at Home
 

1 Timothy 3:12 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

Since the home is the basic, God-ordained unit of society, it is in the home that a deacon develops his spiritual leadership by setting a godly example, and by encouraging, understanding, loving, and serving his wife and children. It is within the context of leading his family that a deacon will develop important skills such as conflict resolution, unity and conscious building, unconditional love, healthy confrontation and forgiveness, and sacrificial service.

Here is a simple, yet profound maxim: If you can be a good Christian at home, you can be a good Christian anywhere. It has also been said a light that shines the furthest should shine the brightest at home. Therefore, struggles in the deacon’s house will be reflected in struggles at the Lord’s house. It is crucial, therefore, that churches ordain and install only men whose homes reflect the peace and unity the church must have to flourish.

Ephesians 5:23-27 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

As we have seen, being a deacon is an awesome responsibility. I believe this is the reason that Apostle Paul sets the qualifications for being a deacon in the larger context of being a pastor. In a real sense, deacons are partners with and assistance to a pastor- by faithfully serving alongside him and supporting him as he leads the church.

Because a deacon serves with the pastor, he must meet the Biblical qualifications required for honorable service. His personal character, family life, and devotion to Christ come under the serious scrutiny of God’s Word. This is only right because the church, after all, is the Body of Christ. Those who serve as deacons must walk worthy of their calling.

 

Discussion Questions:
 

1- Before beginning this training, how did you view the importance of the deacon ministry in the local church?

2- Have you ever been the recipient or a participant in a vibrant deacon ministry in another church? If so, what made that experience so effective?

3- How do you see a deacon’s ministry at home informing and impacting his ministry at church? Why does a deacon’s leadership at home and his relationship with his wife and kids matter?

 

If this blog post has grabbed your curiosity and you would like to know more please pursue any/all of the below options:

1-              Contact me at pastor@missionchurchlex.org

2-              Check out our church website Misisonchurchlex.org

3-              Visit us for Community Celebration and Worship every Sunday at 9am and 11am (Facebook livestreaming available at                   9am) and Mission Groups each Wednesday at 630pm. We are located at 3288 Beaver Creek Drive Lexington KY 40515.

4-              Follow us on Facebook www.facebook.com/missionchurch.lex

5-              Continue to read this weekly blog- “Find your Why with Pastor D”


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